This summer has been incredibly formative. While most patient information is private and I'm not legally allowed to share anything about my experiences with my patients, these have been made public, therefore I can share.

Here are links to the obituaries of (some of) the people who died while I was on call or I had visited with before they died in the last 10 weeks. I spent many hours with all of their families. The purpose of this post is to remember and honor them, their families, and the rest of my patients I can't name. They have all had profound effects on me.

Jesus "Chuey" Garcia
Malinda Calhoun
Billy Petitt
Evelyn Scott
Larry Moore
Vernon Paul
Nona Bachus
Helen Cox
Marshall Woodson
Purda Wilson
Neomia Rice
John Polk
Michael Rains
Rustin Alvarez
Linda Blanton
Jesus "Chuy" Martin
Concha Cerda
Rudene Watson
this was perhaps the hardest one:
Rustin Boswell

I am thankful for the hope we have in God whose love and grace are far beyond our comprehension.
“While Jesus was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly. “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me….She did what she could….Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Whenever I hear this story, I marvel at the bravery of this unnamed woman.

This woman had the guts to bring her gift to Jesus. While she might have wondered what the onlookers would have thought, she didn’t seem to question Jesus’ acceptance of her gift.

Perhaps you think like I do. I often wonder how other people will perceive my actions. I wonder if they will rebuke me for my gift, seeing ways in which I could have accomplished more or helped more people. But, I don’t stop there. When I think of the gifts I have, they seem wimpy compared either to what I truly desire to bring or to the gifts of the people around me. And so I back away. I stay hidden in the corners of the room, protecting myself from what others might think and from the possibility of Jesus rejecting me and my gift.

But, when I read this story I am reminded that, while my fears of other people might be well-founded, my fears of Jesus are completely unfounded. Jesus, the real Jesus, would never reject a gift no matter how rash or small or flawed it seems to be. Jesus doesn’t look so much at the gift itself, but at the loving heart of the person brave enough to bring it. And that loving, giving heart is what Jesus desires most.

I’d like to invite you to think about the gifts you are withholding. Whether you are afraid of rejection by other people or by Jesus, I like to encourage you to be bold and offer your gift, not worrying about what others might think, and knowing with certainty that Jesus will accept you and your gift gladly.
It is easy to be overwhelmed by the calling to be a Christian. After all, being a Christian requires you to be more than just a good person by the world’s standards, it requires you to go even further. When someone slaps you on the face, you not only keep your cool, but you don’t retaliate. When you come across a stranger in the road who has been hurt, you don’t just ask how he’s doing, you go out of your way to take him to the hospital and pay for all the expenses. Following Jesus require a lot of us and Paul clearly knows that in Colossians 1. He uses dramatic, big language to remind the Christians in Colossae of their calling to be “live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way.” That phrase alone is enough to scare me. I have to please the Lord in every way? And he goes further with the phrases “bearing fruit in every good work,” “having great endurance and patience,” “being filled with knowledge, wisdom and understanding.” And I read this prayer of Paul and I really wish he wasn’t praying with such big, all-encompassing language, because it leaves a lot for me to live up to.

But Paul does not leave the Colossians or me wondering how on earth we are going to fill such a tall order. Instead, Paul uses what was probably a familiar hymn at that time to explain.

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church, he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

And after this hymn, I imagine the Colossians breathing a sigh of relief…I know that’s my reaction. Because I realize that, if left to my own devices I would never be able to fully live the life of a Christian; instead, Jesus has already accomplished these things. He holds all power, and is completely sovereign and supreme over all. It is this same Jesus who is working in and through his people, and with His help, even the impossible transformations are possible.

May we all hold onto this hope we have in the mighty power of Christ who is at work within us bringing about incredible transformation.
For the most part, I have a terrible memory when it comes to my childhood. It’s difficult for me to recall certain family activities or games my brother and I played together. But one thing that is absolutely burned into my memory is my nighttime ritual with my parents. While there were little things about it that varied from night to night, almost always my mom and dad would come in, tuck the covers snugly around me, and sing “The Cradle Song.” On special nights, my dad would sing his “Daddy Mix” which blended together many different songs about Jesus – “Jesus Loves Me,” “Jesus Loves the Little Children,” “Jesus Is With Me All Day Long.”

From the time I was an infant until now, my sound of my parents’ voices singing is very comforting to me. They don’t have the best sounding voices and they never sang with great technical skill, but the sound of their voices puts me at ease in a way little else can. It reminds me that I am safe and I am loved, no matter what else is happening in my life.

Perhaps my story has brought some fond memories into your mind. Times when your parents sang lovingly over you. Or perhaps your closest memory is one of singing to your own child or grandchild. Expressing your love for them through a beautiful melody. Maybe a specific song has spoken to you over the years, nourishing your soul, making you feel safe and loved.

One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:16, 17.

"Do not fear, O Zion;
do not let your hands hang limp.
17 The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

I love the language of this passage. God is not just hovering over me detached and uncaring. God is saving, full of delight, generous with his love, and singing a joyful song over me, and over you. Perhaps this is exactly what you need. In a time of trouble, confusion, and fear you need a reminder that God loves you deeply and you need to listen closely and hear God’s voice sweetly singing in your ear a song of love and peace. Or maybe in a time of plenty you need to hear this song of love again so that you do not forget that this loving God is your source of life and love.

May you be blessed as God’s song of love and joy fills your ears and heart throughout the day.
Take a moment to think of all the different people in this hospital at this very moment. Many of us are here as patients. Some have come in for a routine visit and others have come in from an unexpected crisis. Many of us are here to work: CEOs, nurses, housekeepers, clerks, physicians, chefs, volunteers, social workers, secretaries, and the list goes on. There are hundreds of us all present in one building, and we are all very different from one another.

Yet in spite of our differences, we each share a common bond because we have all been through trying times at some point in our lives. Perhaps a difficult time is on the horizon and you see it coming like a storm front. Maybe you’re in the thick of the storm, feeling battered by the wind, skin stinging from the rain pelting down on you. Or maybe you have weathered the storm and are enjoying the green grass and blue sky.

Whatever situation we might find ourselves in, we can hear the words of Psalm 46 and can fully enter into the world it depicts. A world that acknowledges the trying times yet presses on with hope for what will be.

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

May we encourage one another to press on toward the hope we have in God, who is Almighty. And, whatever our life is like, may we each take a break from our busy lives simply to be still and know the Lord is God.
I did devotionals again a few weeks ago, but the internet wasn't working that week so I'm just putting them up. If you have any comments or critiques, feel free to share.

Psalm 107:1 says, “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
One of the first things we teach children to say is “Thank You.” As a child grows up, parents often prompt them by saying “Now, what do you say?” after they received a piece of candy, a compliment, a birthday present. As children grow, they tend to become more enthusiastic the better they perceive their gift to be.

One of our few home videos of when I was a child was from my brother’s fifth birthday party. He, of course say the obligatory “thank you”s after opening each gift. But nothing could have prepared us for what came after he open his gift from Patrick. Upon unveiling the dinosaur puzzle, Keith’s face lit up and began something like a mixture of yelling and singing “Thank you, Patrick! Thank you!” My family always bursts into laughter when we hear his little voice exclaim such great thanks over that dinosaur puzzle.

If only we could keep this intensely thankful spirit about us. But, as we all know, we become less and less impressed with the dinosaur puzzle before long. Perhaps our tastes have changed, perhaps we’re bored with the things that we used to love, or perhaps we no longer put so much importance on material things. Often, with age comes an understanding that it’s not the newest gadget that will evoke true thankfulness, rather it is the hug from a dear friend during a difficult time, quality time spent with family, or just the presence of a loved one.

Hopefully this is also true in our relationship with God. Hopefully we mature with age and, while we never stop thanking God for all the wonderful things God does for us, we move to a deeper thanksgiving. We thank God not for how God benefits us, but simply for being Himself. Because God is good. God is loving. And God’s goodness and love will never end.

Let us take today to not simply be thankful for what God has done for us, but for who God is.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.”