I wrote this post almost two weeks ago and just haven't posted it until today. At long last, here it is...
I was sitting in Starbuck’s today working on a paper. I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation taking place at the next table.
It was an older man and woman – both of whom were single – who were discussing church. Neither of them seem incredibly happy about their current situation and mentioned that they didn’t even really know what they were looking for. The lady was describing her experience at a local church that specifically reaches out to the homeless and underprivileged. She expressed that she was disgusted by the fact that most people came just so they could get a free meal and in her 5 years there she never saw anyone change for the better. Less than 5 minutes later she was telling of her frustration with some programs at the church I suppose she is currently going to. She was frustrated that the men have a “Men’s Pancake Breakfast” and the women had “Afterglow.” She went on to say that the Men hear “pancakes” and get really excited and all want to go. For “Afterglow” the church should advertise that there is a meal involved – it would get peoples’ attention!
It blows my mind that she could criticize people (who are homeless and likely begging for food) for going to a church service just to get a free meal, and at the same time she could support the idea of women (who all probably have full refrigerators and freezers in their home) getting together and sharing a free meal.
I could not help but notice the incredible irony of what she was saying and the double standard she held so strongly. I am sure this lady is well-meaning. She seems innocent enough and I don’t think she was malicious in what she was saying. I don’t want to judge her, rather I want to use my observations about her as a way to challenge myself. In what ways do I criticize other people for something and then act as if it is perfectly acceptable if one of my friends or I do that very thing. It is incredibly difficult to recognize double standards within ourselves without someone else pointing them out or having an experience like this which makes me think long and hard about myself.
So, in the spirit of discovering and repenting of my double standards, I will go ahead and talk about another aspect of the conversation. At one point they were talking about what exactly they were looking for in a church. And I thought to myself that it sounded as if they were shopping for their ideal church. She wanted a praise team she enjoyed, people who were similar to her, programs that were available and attractive to both men and women… And in my mind I just sort of sadly laughed and thought “This is not at all what church is about. It is not about finding people who believe the same things as you…it is not about having your personal preferences met. It is about being with people who are different and choosing to love them and be unified with them because you are brothers and sisters in Christ.”
And now I think about where I go to church and why. I go to Highland church of Christ. As a church they decided that women should have more leadership roles in church than they have in the past. I have friends who go there and normally sit around people who are white and in the mid to upper socio-economic level. I usually sit with my friends and sometimes avoid people I might not want to talk to.
I do not think this means I need to leave Highland and go somewhere else…there are many wonderful reasons to go to Highland. But it does give me something to really think about…
I was sitting in Starbuck’s today working on a paper. I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation taking place at the next table.
It was an older man and woman – both of whom were single – who were discussing church. Neither of them seem incredibly happy about their current situation and mentioned that they didn’t even really know what they were looking for. The lady was describing her experience at a local church that specifically reaches out to the homeless and underprivileged. She expressed that she was disgusted by the fact that most people came just so they could get a free meal and in her 5 years there she never saw anyone change for the better. Less than 5 minutes later she was telling of her frustration with some programs at the church I suppose she is currently going to. She was frustrated that the men have a “Men’s Pancake Breakfast” and the women had “Afterglow.” She went on to say that the Men hear “pancakes” and get really excited and all want to go. For “Afterglow” the church should advertise that there is a meal involved – it would get peoples’ attention!
It blows my mind that she could criticize people (who are homeless and likely begging for food) for going to a church service just to get a free meal, and at the same time she could support the idea of women (who all probably have full refrigerators and freezers in their home) getting together and sharing a free meal.
I could not help but notice the incredible irony of what she was saying and the double standard she held so strongly. I am sure this lady is well-meaning. She seems innocent enough and I don’t think she was malicious in what she was saying. I don’t want to judge her, rather I want to use my observations about her as a way to challenge myself. In what ways do I criticize other people for something and then act as if it is perfectly acceptable if one of my friends or I do that very thing. It is incredibly difficult to recognize double standards within ourselves without someone else pointing them out or having an experience like this which makes me think long and hard about myself.
So, in the spirit of discovering and repenting of my double standards, I will go ahead and talk about another aspect of the conversation. At one point they were talking about what exactly they were looking for in a church. And I thought to myself that it sounded as if they were shopping for their ideal church. She wanted a praise team she enjoyed, people who were similar to her, programs that were available and attractive to both men and women… And in my mind I just sort of sadly laughed and thought “This is not at all what church is about. It is not about finding people who believe the same things as you…it is not about having your personal preferences met. It is about being with people who are different and choosing to love them and be unified with them because you are brothers and sisters in Christ.”
And now I think about where I go to church and why. I go to Highland church of Christ. As a church they decided that women should have more leadership roles in church than they have in the past. I have friends who go there and normally sit around people who are white and in the mid to upper socio-economic level. I usually sit with my friends and sometimes avoid people I might not want to talk to.
I do not think this means I need to leave Highland and go somewhere else…there are many wonderful reasons to go to Highland. But it does give me something to really think about…
