Sometimes I get frustrated because there is no manual for the Christian life. Although the Bible is helpful in informing our decisions and actions, I do not believe it is a book of answers to all of our questions. I bring this up because last week I had an experience where I was left having no idea what was the "right" thing to do.
I have amazing parents. They love me and support me and are incredibly proud of me and make it a priority to tell me these things on a regular basis. I can talk to my parents about anything, especially theological issues/questions/problems that I am thinking about or struggling with. I probably feel safer talking about these things with my parents than with anyone else. Even if we have different opinions, we can respect one another and acknowledge that we are all constantly learning, growing and changing.
Last week some of my closest friends shared with me the dynamics of their relationships with their parents. All of us had very different experiences, but I was the only one who felt free to be myself and share my thoughts with my parents without fear of their reaction, particularly when it comes to God and ministry. This is tricky because all of us are going into theological studies/ministry and is very much an integral part of our lives. Most of them are afraid to talk about their views and beliefs because it will offend their parents.
When I heard this, I first was filled with the realization that I am blessed beyond measure. My second reaction was trying to figure out words of encouragement or advice to give them. Then I realized that I don't have an answer. I often struggle with the very same thing, but with different people. The most consistent and intense example of this is my involvement in ministry and theological study. In the church of Christ tradition, this is generally questioned and even looked down on. While I plan on staying within the Church of Christ tradition, I do disagree with this belief and hope to see change come in the future.
I believe this strongly and have come to this conclusion after a lot of theological discussion and critical thinking. I also feel strongly that this belief should change my actions, language, and even day-to-day interactions with others. But I do not believe it is right to force this belief on other people or even talk about it in a way that is hurtful and further divisive.
So things get really tricky when I go to my home church and people ask what I am going to do with my degree. They know my brother got the same degree and is now a preacher, but they're sure that can't be what I'm going to do and can't seem to fathom how I will be able to actually use my degree without entering into a sinful life (of course, not all people feel this way, but it is the majority). How do I respond? I believe that the direction I am headed is going to require me to be bold and stand for what I believe is true even when a lot of people don't understand and agree, but is this the right time to jump into that discussion? (By the way, I usually give an acceptable answer as my "tentative plan"...which is true, but is still a cop out.)
Also, how do you, as Paul says, be sensitive to those who don't hold the same beliefs (the "weaker brother" although I don't think this language communicates very well today) and at the same time not compromise what you believe in? It's difficult for me to balance this idea with Jesus' warning that we will have to deny our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, all who are close to us in order to follow Him. Is my desire not to "rock the boat" too hard more out of concern for the people I am in relationship with, or is it more driven by a desire to be liked and given approval?
In my opinion, our culture, particularly our generation, is a strange mix in this way. On the one hand we very much appreciate openness, honesty, and bluntness. At the same time, we are very concerned with people liking us and being the "cool" person that everyone likes and who doesn't stir up conflict. We are quick to point out flaws we see in church (or universities or government, etc.) but when it comes time to buckle down and make changes we don't want to be the ones to blaze the trail for others to follow. We don't want to be the ones in the spotlight, catching all the flack.
How do we balance this tension?
Good grief, I wish with all my being that I knew the solution to this dilemma. I really wish God would just appear to me in a vision, drop a flashing neon sign in front of my face, or take me to a mountain and whisper the answer in my ear. But, for now, I will end where I began - unsure, but hopeful that God will provide sufficient light for me to see enough of the path ahead of me so that I can make a confident, steady next step on this journey.
May the Lord give us all the boldness to follow the Gospel even to the cross, and the humility to be gracious and loving to others on the way there.
I have amazing parents. They love me and support me and are incredibly proud of me and make it a priority to tell me these things on a regular basis. I can talk to my parents about anything, especially theological issues/questions/problems that I am thinking about or struggling with. I probably feel safer talking about these things with my parents than with anyone else. Even if we have different opinions, we can respect one another and acknowledge that we are all constantly learning, growing and changing.
Last week some of my closest friends shared with me the dynamics of their relationships with their parents. All of us had very different experiences, but I was the only one who felt free to be myself and share my thoughts with my parents without fear of their reaction, particularly when it comes to God and ministry. This is tricky because all of us are going into theological studies/ministry and is very much an integral part of our lives. Most of them are afraid to talk about their views and beliefs because it will offend their parents.
When I heard this, I first was filled with the realization that I am blessed beyond measure. My second reaction was trying to figure out words of encouragement or advice to give them. Then I realized that I don't have an answer. I often struggle with the very same thing, but with different people. The most consistent and intense example of this is my involvement in ministry and theological study. In the church of Christ tradition, this is generally questioned and even looked down on. While I plan on staying within the Church of Christ tradition, I do disagree with this belief and hope to see change come in the future.
I believe this strongly and have come to this conclusion after a lot of theological discussion and critical thinking. I also feel strongly that this belief should change my actions, language, and even day-to-day interactions with others. But I do not believe it is right to force this belief on other people or even talk about it in a way that is hurtful and further divisive.
So things get really tricky when I go to my home church and people ask what I am going to do with my degree. They know my brother got the same degree and is now a preacher, but they're sure that can't be what I'm going to do and can't seem to fathom how I will be able to actually use my degree without entering into a sinful life (of course, not all people feel this way, but it is the majority). How do I respond? I believe that the direction I am headed is going to require me to be bold and stand for what I believe is true even when a lot of people don't understand and agree, but is this the right time to jump into that discussion? (By the way, I usually give an acceptable answer as my "tentative plan"...which is true, but is still a cop out.)
Also, how do you, as Paul says, be sensitive to those who don't hold the same beliefs (the "weaker brother" although I don't think this language communicates very well today) and at the same time not compromise what you believe in? It's difficult for me to balance this idea with Jesus' warning that we will have to deny our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, all who are close to us in order to follow Him. Is my desire not to "rock the boat" too hard more out of concern for the people I am in relationship with, or is it more driven by a desire to be liked and given approval?
In my opinion, our culture, particularly our generation, is a strange mix in this way. On the one hand we very much appreciate openness, honesty, and bluntness. At the same time, we are very concerned with people liking us and being the "cool" person that everyone likes and who doesn't stir up conflict. We are quick to point out flaws we see in church (or universities or government, etc.) but when it comes time to buckle down and make changes we don't want to be the ones to blaze the trail for others to follow. We don't want to be the ones in the spotlight, catching all the flack.
How do we balance this tension?
Good grief, I wish with all my being that I knew the solution to this dilemma. I really wish God would just appear to me in a vision, drop a flashing neon sign in front of my face, or take me to a mountain and whisper the answer in my ear. But, for now, I will end where I began - unsure, but hopeful that God will provide sufficient light for me to see enough of the path ahead of me so that I can make a confident, steady next step on this journey.
May the Lord give us all the boldness to follow the Gospel even to the cross, and the humility to be gracious and loving to others on the way there.
