Sometimes I get frustrated because there is no manual for the Christian life. Although the Bible is helpful in informing our decisions and actions, I do not believe it is a book of answers to all of our questions. I bring this up because last week I had an experience where I was left having no idea what was the "right" thing to do.

I have amazing parents. They love me and support me and are incredibly proud of me and make it a priority to tell me these things on a regular basis. I can talk to my parents about anything, especially theological issues/questions/problems that I am thinking about or struggling with. I probably feel safer talking about these things with my parents than with anyone else. Even if we have different opinions, we can respect one another and acknowledge that we are all constantly learning, growing and changing.

Last week some of my closest friends shared with me the dynamics of their relationships with their parents. All of us had very different experiences, but I was the only one who felt free to be myself and share my thoughts with my parents without fear of their reaction, particularly when it comes to God and ministry. This is tricky because all of us are going into theological studies/ministry and is very much an integral part of our lives. Most of them are afraid to talk about their views and beliefs because it will offend their parents.

When I heard this, I first was filled with the realization that I am blessed beyond measure. My second reaction was trying to figure out words of encouragement or advice to give them. Then I realized that I don't have an answer. I often struggle with the very same thing, but with different people. The most consistent and intense example of this is my involvement in ministry and theological study. In the church of Christ tradition, this is generally questioned and even looked down on. While I plan on staying within the Church of Christ tradition, I do disagree with this belief and hope to see change come in the future.

I believe this strongly and have come to this conclusion after a lot of theological discussion and critical thinking. I also feel strongly that this belief should change my actions, language, and even day-to-day interactions with others. But I do not believe it is right to force this belief on other people or even talk about it in a way that is hurtful and further divisive.

So things get really tricky when I go to my home church and people ask what I am going to do with my degree. They know my brother got the same degree and is now a preacher, but they're sure that can't be what I'm going to do and can't seem to fathom how I will be able to actually use my degree without entering into a sinful life (of course, not all people feel this way, but it is the majority). How do I respond? I believe that the direction I am headed is going to require me to be bold and stand for what I believe is true even when a lot of people don't understand and agree, but is this the right time to jump into that discussion? (By the way, I usually give an acceptable answer as my "tentative plan"...which is true, but is still a cop out.)

Also, how do you, as Paul says, be sensitive to those who don't hold the same beliefs (the "weaker brother" although I don't think this language communicates very well today) and at the same time not compromise what you believe in? It's difficult for me to balance this idea with Jesus' warning that we will have to deny our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, all who are close to us in order to follow Him. Is my desire not to "rock the boat" too hard more out of concern for the people I am in relationship with, or is it more driven by a desire to be liked and given approval?

In my opinion, our culture, particularly our generation, is a strange mix in this way. On the one hand we very much appreciate openness, honesty, and bluntness. At the same time, we are very concerned with people liking us and being the "cool" person that everyone likes and who doesn't stir up conflict. We are quick to point out flaws we see in church (or universities or government, etc.) but when it comes time to buckle down and make changes we don't want to be the ones to blaze the trail for others to follow. We don't want to be the ones in the spotlight, catching all the flack.

How do we balance this tension?
Good grief, I wish with all my being that I knew the solution to this dilemma. I really wish God would just appear to me in a vision, drop a flashing neon sign in front of my face, or take me to a mountain and whisper the answer in my ear. But, for now, I will end where I began - unsure, but hopeful that God will provide sufficient light for me to see enough of the path ahead of me so that I can make a confident, steady next step on this journey.

May the Lord give us all the boldness to follow the Gospel even to the cross, and the humility to be gracious and loving to others on the way there.

I really enjoy Facebook. I know that might sound funny, but it is true. Many times I use Facebook as a reason to put off starting homework for just a few more minutes, but I always really enjoy seeing what is going on in other peoples’ lives. Sometimes it is just something silly and relatively insignificant like “Sarah has become a fan of House” or “Chris threw a sheep at Donny.” Other times it is more significant, such as “Katherine is going to China this summer to do mission work!” or “Aaron is going to be a dad!” Then there are times when I am caught off guard by “Amanda’s grandparents were just in a wreck and my grandmother is about to go into emergency surgery” or “Drew’s nephew probably has down syndrome. great. what next?”

This is part of what is great about Facebook. Facebook is an outlet where most people can be open about their likes and dislikes, beliefs, victories, struggles, and every day events. Our generation seems to really value honesty and openness which is evident by the notes people write explaining their frustration with a friend or with a presidential candidate or their struggles with believing in a God who is good when their child has just died from cancer. And I really enjoy Facebook because when I read peoples’ statuses or notes or wall posts I feel like I am involved in their lives. When I read Joel’s notes about his wife’s battle with cancer, I feel anger at the situation and elation when she is declared to be in remission. I get worried with Amanda about her grandparents and say a quick prayer that they will be okay. I question political stances along with my critical-thinking friends. I even know the every-day things like whether they like coffee or if we like the same music or TV shows.

There are so many ways I can feel connected to my Facebook friends - to people, some of whom I haven’t even seen or talked to in months or years. And this is where there is a problem. While most of my Facebook “friends” are truly friends, not strangers, I feel close to them and involved in their lives, but I am really not at all. Friendship is about much more than knowing information about a person or the activities of their life. Friendship is about being together. Friendship is about actually going through the difficult and joyous times together, not just reading about them. Friendship involves discussion about questions or struggles where both people are interacting with one another. Friendship does not consist of knowing for a fact that Naomi likes coffee and board games, it consists of drinking coffee and playing board games with Naomi.

While I may excel at keeping up with people on Facebook, I have failed miserably at being a true friend. However, there have been two people who really demonstrate how Facebook can be used as a way to enhance true friendship rather than replace it. Mark Hawk (the youth minister at the church in my hometown) and my dad, Bob Clark (who is the preacher at the same church), have made the most of Facebook. This weekend Mark went to a play that was put on at a high school in town. In the last two days I have seen at least five different encouraging messages he has written on the walls of some of the kids who were in the cast. My dad will often write about a great play in the USC football game on a fellow fan’s wall or he will check up on someone whom he knows has been dealing with a lot of stress. Although they both use Facebook frequently, they do not let it replace their friendships with people.

The life that Christ has called us to requires us to be in relationship with people, to live together in fellowship with one another. This means that, while I can learn about my friends on Facebook, I cannot let it replace an actual friendship. It means I have to put my laptop down, pick up the phone and make plans to hang out with a friend or have a conversation with someone who is in the middle of a crisis. I think Facebook has become such a huge phenomenon in part because it is a whole lot easier to be friends with a picture on the computer screen than it is to be with a real, live person who has a different personality, different beliefs and different interests from you. Relationships, while they can bring many blessings and enjoyable experiences, are often tough and require hard work!

In thinking about this, I realize that this way of thinking and approaching friendship goes beyond the world of Facebook for me. This is often my approach to my relationship with God. Read the Bible, read scholarly books and commentaries, write lots of papers, get a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, think critically, discuss with professors and other students in classes, get lots of information and form opinions and beliefs…but I often find myself without time or interest in a true relationship that involves communication, transformation, and just being with God. As a result, I end up with a bunch of head knowledge, but where does that get me?

I hope and pray that I will not settle for a false sense of relationship, and instead learn to invest my heart as well as my mind in my relationships with God and others.

As Rodney Ashlock's Graduate Assistant, I have been working with him for a few months on the Christianity in Culture class that is offered to Sophomores at ACU. While we discussed the goals of the class, it became apparent that we wanted the students to commit to thinking critically about Christianity in Culture. As a result, a journaling-type assignment was born and we have asked the students in the class to turn in a "journal" of some sort that demonstrates a critical analysis of Christianity, Culture, or a combination of the two. I truly believe that this is essential to the life of a Christian, because if we don't intentionally think through life, it is very easy to just walk blindly through it and not give it any thought at all. However, as Christians we are called to be completely committed disciples of Christ, becoming more and more like in in every aspect. I have all too often fallen in the trap of living aimlessly, not fully thinking through the implications and consequences of the choices I make. Although this will not change overnight, I have decided to commit to critical thinking alongside my students. In doing so, I am making myself vulnerable to them as they are to me, and am opening my thoughts and feelings up to critique, encouragement, and discussion. I hope to look back and see the ways I have grown and see the fruit of living intentionally. May God give me insight, wisdom, the courage to see things with clarity, and grace when I fall short.